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Whose Globes looked the best?

Posted by emzkbd on January 13, 2013

It’s my 2nd Annual Golden Globes Red Carpet review. This time last year, I had the most views, but what can I say, the fashion speaks for itself. I’m just bringing it to you in the most honest way possible! One thing that hasn’t changed—the predominance of nude and blush colored dressed; one thing that has—the lack of color (where’s the purple?). So without further ado…

BEST DRESSED LIST

Jennifer LawrenceBest Dressed: Jennifer Lawrence. That girl is Catching Fire! I was glad to see her win the Globe for Silver Linings Playbook! Now let’s hope she brings it—talent, fashion, and perky boobs—to the Oscars next month!

Jennifer GarnerRunner-up: Jennifer Garner. Where has she been all my life? And to think she has three kiddos! Mrs. Affleck looks like she needs a nomination. Too bad she’s hasn’t made anything worth seeing—EVER! Except maybe 13 Going on 30! I love her dress—it’s probably because she’s got those great boobs to fill it out.

Jessica AlbaMost Glamorous: Jessica Alba. My first repeat winner! Everything about this dress complements Jessica, including her makeup (bold lip), jewels and fuzzy clutch.

Isla FisherRunner-up: Isla Fisher. I’m sure we’ve seen this dress before, but she Definitely, Maybe rocked it the best, especially as a side-swept ginger.

Heidi KlumMost Unconventional: Heidi Klum. Although it does seem a tad tight across her tummy, I love the one shoulder, the neckline, and the high slit—my fave for this season’s red carpet (thank you, Angelina Jolie). Angelina Jolie

Olivia MunnRunner-up: Olivia Munn. I wasn’t sure about her whatever’s happening at her waste. Is that a belt? But something about this look just draws me in. Maybe it’s the scale-like top.

Megan FoxBest Color: Megan Fox. Is it gold? Is it beige? Is it lace? Who cares! Without a doubt one of my favorite dresses on the red carpet! And to think, she just had a baby. Transformer, she is. (That’s a Yoda reference… she’s a big Star Wars fan… anyone?)

Hayden PanettiereBest Blush/Nude: Hayden Panettiere.  I agree with Kelly Osbourne—this is definitely one of Hayden’s best looks ever! It’s soft, it’s sweet, it’s definitely put her on the map—Nashville to be exact!

Best Long Sleeves: None. I know! I tried, couldn’t find one.

AdeleBest Plus Size: Adele. Post-pregnancy looks good on her. While I would have liked to see this dress in a pop of color, I think it is totally her style: elegant with an edge—or in this case a neckline.

Kathryn BigelowBest Over 50: Kathryn Bigelow. For working in the Middle East, she sure cleans up well.

Glenn CloseRunner-up: Glenn Close. Navy was popular for the older crowd (see Sally Field, Helen Mirren, and Jodie Foster), but Glenn pulled it off the best. The fit was right, the accessories complemented well, and the train wasn’t too long.

Ali FedotowskyBest Dressed (Who are you again?): Ali Fedotowsky. I think this Bachelorette was trying that new hair trend—I have long hair, but I’ll disguise it as a bob and no one will know. Unfortunately, she didn’t pull that off, but her dress earns her the credit to walk the red carpet again—so long as it’s not for a reality TV show.

George Clooney & Stacy KeiblerBest Dressed (Ok, we know you now!) Stacy Keibler: Yes, you’re George Clooney’s girlfriend now, but where will you be next year? Hopefully, making more red carpet appearances.

Eva LongoriaDress I desperately want to fall in love with: Eva Longoria. I’m just not sure how I feel about the lacy sleeves and the deep V accompanying the high slit (which is what turned me on in the first place).

Lea MicheleBest white: Lea Michele. Another high slit (YAY!) and probably one of the only times I’ll praise white on the red carpet. Definitely a Gleeful choice!

Nancy O'DellBest Dressed Host: Nancy O’Dell. Probably the real winner for Best Color! Why didn’t we see more jewel tones on the carpet this year? Such a disappointment!

Maria MenounosRunner-up: Maria Menounos. What’s not to like about this dress? No, Maria, don’t speak.

Claire DanesBest Hair: Claire Danes. Another new mom working a hot bod and sexy locks! Not to mention, one of the night’s best dressed! Love that color—red was definitely luck y for those lady bugs.

Kate HudsonBest Makeup: Kate Hudson. Also one who was having a great hair day, but I wanted to give props to her flawless complexion (and cleavage). The Killer Inside Me would kill for those looks!

Bradley CooperBest Dressed Man: Bradley Cooper. In my Playbook, he’s hot stud numero uno, and now he’s single. So long as he’s not crazy like his character!

Robert PattinsonRunner-up: Robert Pattinson. No idea what he was doing there, but when Dawn is Breaking, I will be climaxing from my hot and steamy dream with him.

Jon Hamm & Jennifer WestfeldtBest Dressed Couple: Jon Hamm & Jennifer Westfeldt. Aren’t they the cutest? He’s just so dapper (Go Mizzou alum!), and that dress would have been my winner for Most Unconventional but they’re just so freakin’ adorbs.

WORST DRESSED LIST

Kerry WashingtonWorst Dressed: Kerry Washington. I think the only thing I like about this look is her shoes, but honestly the whole short dress under a sheer long one just isn’t working (see also Rachel Weisz). The color is wrong, and so is her blowout. Chain this one back up!

Alyssa MilanoRunner-up: Alyssa Milano. Is she pregnant again? If she is, she looks horrible. If she’s not, then she really looks horrible.

Amanda SeyfriedWorst Blush/Nude: Amanda Seyfried. The lace doily thing almost never works, and this is case in point. I guess she’s so used to being one of the Les Misérables.

Amy AdamsRunner-up: Amy Adams. I really wanted to like this one, but the unruly tulle looks like it’s about to swallow this dress whole. She confidently brings the glam, but the Trouble with those Curves is definitely that tulle.

Emily MortimerWorst Long Sleeves: Emily Mortimer. Look everyone! It’s a knight’s formal eveningwear.

Jennifer LopezRunner-up: Jennifer Lopez. To be honest, I was completely up in the air with this one. I tried to see the glam in it, but her curves and the lace did not want to cooperate. The two combined were just too distracting to be likeable.

Lena DunhamWorst Plus Size: Lena Dunham. Ok, so maybe she’s not reallllly plus size, but the dress makes her appear that way. That said, I am happy to see her and her show take home trophies tonight!

Helen MirrenWorst Over 50: Helen Mirren. From last year’s best to this year’s worst, she and Glenn decided to switch places.

Allison WilliamsWorst Dressed (Who are you again?): Allison Williams. Girls, take note! Do not pick a dress from a designer who looks like they can’t sew. Am I right? This seams here are quite obvious.

Sienna MillerWorst Dressed (You should know better): Sienna Miller. There are no words.

Halle BerryWorst Dressed (I let my child pick out my dress): Halle Berry. Ok, I’ll admit, I don’t REALLY know if her daughter picked out this choice. I mean, we know her personal life is a jungle, but her wardrobe does not need to reflect that. I do love the shoes, though, and the high slit, of course.

Lucy LuiRunner-up: Lucy Liu. Does she have children? If so, they should learn that flowers are only pretty in pictures, not on fabric.

Kristen Bell Michelle DockeryWorst Dressed (Chastity chests): Kristen Bell and Michelle Dockery. This just looks painful! I can’t imagine the pain preggo Kristen’s breastesses are experiencing.

Julianne HoughBjork moment: Julianne Hough. (Secretly, I kinda like it, but then there’s that tulle again!)

Kristen WiigVagina hands meet vagina dress: Kristen Wiig. I don’t get it!

Zooey DeschanelDress that everyone will probably love but I hate: Zooey Deschanel. She isn’t a New Girl to the red carpet, but I keep waiting for her to have a breakout moment in fashion. Still, I’m left unfulfilled.

Taylor Swift Jessica ChastainRunners-up: Taylor Swift and Jessica Chastain. I wish I could blame Taylor’s recent breakup on her poor fashion sense, but she looked amaze-balls at the People’s Choice Awards, but this was a fashion flop. While I like Jessica’s color, it’s not one for the gingers. Plus, the dress makes her look fuller-figured and like she has saggy tits.

Anne HathawayWorst White: Anne Hathaway.  When “I Dreamed a Dream” of the best dressed, Anne’s dress was definitely not one of them. I hate white, I hate Anne Hathaway, and I hate her haircut, pastiness, and anorexia nervosa. Catwoman needs some catnip.

Giuliana RancicWorst Dressed Host: Giuliana Rancic—a two-time loser! How has she earned the right to critique on E!’s Fashion Police? Nothing about this look complements her figure or is pleasing to the eye. Not to mention, she is oompa-loompa orange. Hey Giuliana, I think Anne needs some of your color!

Kelly OsbourneRunner-up: Kelly Osbourne. I think their show needs an overhaul. Can I suggest moi?

Kaley CuocoWorst Hair AND Scariest Makeup: Caley Cuoco. The sad thing is I actually like the dress, but she put in any effort with the rest of her appearance. I guess I could cut her some slack since she was hosting the People’s Choice Awards last week, but she better not show up to any more awards shows looking like she was just gang-Banged.

John HawkesWorst Dressed Man: John Hawkes. Well first off, he has bad posture. Second off, he looks like a pedophile. And thirdly, I’m a fan of black-on-black, and this kills it for me.

Helena Bonham Carter & Tim BurtonWorst Dressed Couple: Helena Bonham Carter & Tim Burton. Too easy, I know! While the outfits aren’t bad, their presentation is as bad as one of his movies!

Remember to check back after other awards shows this season, including the fashion finale—the Oscars! And tell me: who did you think was the best (and worst) dressed at this year’s Golden Globes?

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One Response to “Whose Globes looked the best?”

  1. Jamie said

    Awesome post! Totally agree on your hair and makeup choices!

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